


Just Give Me a Reason

by Makairia



Series: AvengerKink meme fills [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Crack, Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor, MAY CONTAIN IRON MAN 3 SPOILERS, check each individual story for warnings, please excuse the dirty mouth of these characters, they only mostly mean it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makairia/pseuds/Makairia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little stand alone fills too small to warrant their own story. All are complete on their own, although the series will be ongoing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. HULK SORRY

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from P!nk's Just Give Me A Reason, but it holds no meaning on the story itself; I was in it for the punnish-quality. And because I like the song. You should listen to it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: [[x]](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/15292.html?thread=32972732)
> 
> _"HULK ACCIDENTALLY WHOLE CASE. THAT BAD?"_
> 
> _"You accidentally what?"_
> 
> _"WHOLE CASE."_

It was after a battle against robotic frogs in Central Park (of all things) that brought the rocky team together for the third time, dusty and battered, but not broken.

"Whoo, team," Tony exhaled loudly, face plate up. "Good job -- great job even. Anyone else hungry? I know a great hot dog stand just a couple'a blocks down from here."

"First Shawarma, Stark, now hot dogs? I guess it's a good thing that you make and... _adjust_...your own suits, then."

"Fuck you, Barton. What the hell -- are you calling me fat? I'll have you know that I am in _credibly_ svelte, thank you very much!" If Natasha was a lesser person, she would have face palmed, but as it was, she settled on sending the five-year-old superheroes an unimpressed look.

"Fear not, Man of Iron! You could feast for seven days and seven nights and still not measure up to Volstagg of the Warrior's Three!"

"Uh, thanks, Thor -- Hey, has anyone seen Mean Green around? I lost him somewhere around Fifty-ninth when he was challenging Thor in attempting to ride the frogs, or something."

"And what worthy opponents they were! But they truly pale in comparison to the Bilgesnipe near my homeland!" Behind Thor, Clint was making the antler gesture and shooting rude faces towards Tony (of which Tony manfully ignored -- See, Pepper? Maturing!). In Pepper's defense, Tony was a bit distracted by Hulk trudging slowly in the team's direction. _Sheepishly_ trudging.

"HULK SORRY." Hulk shyly tapped his two index fingers together in front of his face, and seriously -- who'd introduced Hulk to the internet, and more importantly, _why_ hadn't Tony been invited?

"What's up, Big Guy? We're thinking about hot dogs over by the fountain. You up for some? They've got a mean deli mustard, and I've been thinking about one since this entire debacle started." Hulk, if it was even possible, shrunk even farther into himself, and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Speak up, Green Giant, couldn't quite make that out." Averting his eyes, Hulk refused to look at Tony, staring off to the very interesting dirt down by his foot.

"HULK SAID, 'HULK ACCIDENTALLY WHOLE CASE.' THAT BAD?" Clint narrowly avoided choking on his own spit.

"You accidentally _what?!_ " This time, Hulk looked straight at Clint, and Clint _so-did-NOT_ emit a girly shriek, shut up Stark, it was a _manly shout_.

"WHOLE CASE. HULK ACCIDENTALLY WHOLE CASE. HULK SORRY. DID NOT KNOW TEAM WANTED TO EAT, TOO." It was mostly due to JARVIS that Tony didn't completely fall over from how he was buckled in half, almost crying with laughter.

"Don't worry about it, Green Bean. We'll go talk to the petrified cart owner, then maybe get Thai, or something."

"PLEASE DO NOT BE ANGRY AT HULK. HULK DID NOT MEAN TO." As the team made their way to the terrified hot dog vendor, Clint had to smother a whole round of guffaws at Natasha's lowered voice.

"Next time we're showing him LOLCats; he'll love that."


	2. Thought We Wouldn't Notice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: [[x]](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/15292.html?thread=33098428)
> 
> _So we have Black Widow and Hawkeye (Strike Team Delta). What are some of the designations for the other SHIELD Agents, civilians, etc?_

"Wait-wait-wait, you've got to be kidding. There's absolutely _no_ way that's my honest-to-what-the-fuck-ever codename!" Coulson didn't even blink at the outburst, and -- as deadpan as ever -- replied to the outraged SHIELD agent.

"Do I look as if I'm kidding?" Not having had the... _pleasure_...of Coulson's dead stare focused solely on him, the agent paled a little before stuttering out a reply.

"No---no, sir." Agent Coulson let out a dry smile.

"Good, then we'll see you bright and early at 0500 tomorrow, Galaga Guy."

-

Somewhere, in the depths of a lab, Tony Stark cackled wildly.


	3. Immortalized In Plastic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: [[x]](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/15292.html?thread=34165180#t34165180)
> 
> _I need a happy fic and so here's a silly prompt. For some reason, an Avenger decided to give a fellow Avenger a silly cheap gift that the Avenger just loved like a silly pair of socks or a hat or even some toy in their image._
> 
> _The Cracker the better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OP wanted a 5 times fic, but I accidentally read completely over that before I filled it. Oops, sorry. D:
> 
> ~~I'm also blatantly ignoring MCU timeline, but it's not important.~~

Tony’s party was in full swing; people, music, drinks (but no suit, thankfully), and dancing abundant. Having made his rounds, Tony stepped out onto the balcony and leaned over the railing, lost in thought. That was, until a shuffling sound caught his attention, and he turned around.

Only to have the shit scared out of him by Clint, and a neatly wrapped box shoved inches from his face.

“Ah, _Je_ sus! What the hell, Barton?” Clint cackled, not quite unkindly.

“Happy birthday, Stark. I had no idea what to get you -- I mean, what do you get the guy that has everything? -- so I figured, why not get you _you_.” Tony just gave him a weird look. 

“You _do_ realize that you didn’t have to get me anything, right?” That calculating look never quite left Tony’s eyes. Clint just rolled his.

“Shut up, and just open the damn thing already.”

“Pushy, pushy,” Tony said, turning the box in his hands, a look of deep consternation plaguing his face.

“Uh, what’s wrong, Stark?” Tony hummed absently, box never still for more than a moment or two.

“I, uh, don’t like being handed things.” But before Clint could respond, Tony had the edge of the paper caught under his finger, and tore it in half, the paper falling to the ground by their feet. Tony snickered once he saw what he was holding, and some of the worry relaxed out of Clint’s face.

“Jesus Christ, Barton. You weren’t kidding.” Tony opened the plastic box, knife appearing out of somewhere, and pulled out the little Iron Man action figure. “I’ve been trying to convince Pepper that we needed an Iron Man shrine back in Malibu, but she always said no.” Tony twirled his mini figure around, before pulling out the perfect pocket square, and replacing it with his tiny avatar. 

By the time Tony looked up, Clint had meshed back into the crowd, so Tony followed suit. It took about ten minutes before Pepper saw him again, and the look she leveled on him was equal parts amused, disapproving, and resigned.

“I dunno, Pep. You’ve gotta admit: this is so much better than last year’s!” Pepper just sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is relevant: [[x]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll844tTuGy1qk0gkmo1_400.jpg). Also, [[x]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/e32f6e61e913eafcdc3c90a6e40396e7/tumblr_ml81y9EDaR1qajc4eo1_1280.jpg)


	4. Play Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some light Iron Man 3 spoilers!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, some rather light Iron Man 3 spoilers in this one, so please use caution if you haven't seen the movie yet. ^^
> 
> Written for [[x]](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/16019.html?thread=34611347) on avengerkink.
> 
> Seriously, last warning for spoilers.

“My dad went down to the convenience store to buy some scratchers. Must have won it big, since he hasn’t been back in six years.”

_“Tony, it’s time to buck up some. You’ve been down here for three weeks already with nothing to show for it; and the take-over commencement rehearsal starts in two hours. You need to get ready,” Obiadiah said to an unusually quiet Tony._

_“I just. I don’t think I’m ready to go out there, Obie. It’s -- I don’t know. I can’t -- we were just starting to make this fucked-up relationship of ours work, or something. It just. Wasn’t supposed to end this way -- and I don’t even_ get _why it’s such a big deal to me! There was nothing there to miss; we had_ nothing _. But we just…could have. Yeah? I don’t_ get _how I can miss something I never had._

_“Besides. There’s no need for a rehearsal, anyway. I’ve just gotta, what? Sign a few forms, and send it through legal? I’m not usurping CEO-ship from SI’s CEO, anyway, right? (Since, y’know, he’s dead.) So that’s even fewer hoops I need to jump through.” Obadiah’s eyes tightened around the edges, but gave no other outward sign of irritation._

_“That’s enough, Tony. Your parents are dead. There’s no use in sulking anymore. And you know what? Yeah, well. That happens. Dads leave. No need to be a pussy about it.” Tony glared, but finally mustered up enough pseudo-caring to get up and shower. Make himself presentable. And play nice with the bigwigs for the foreseeable future._

Tony leveled a look at Harley.

“Yeah, well, that happens; dads leave. No need to be a pussy about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Taking prompt ideas; can't guarantee a fill since my muse is a flighty bitch, but who knows. ^^


End file.
